(PS: AND BLUE BALLS ARE A POOR EXCUSE FOR WANTING SEX)
by Philippe Lewis
Our society has evolved you to think that your erection is a sacred thing.
When you are hard, women are told that something needs to happen: you need to be pleasured, touched, you need to fuck, hump, grind. Everyone has to do something about it.
When you are soft, it apparently means you're not interested or that the person who is with you is not doing something right, not hot enough, not touching you right, not doing what you want in bed. It's someone else's fault.
When you're in bed, you're supposed to be hard as needed and for as long as intercourse is supposed to last. Being unable to do so is one of the greatest shame known to man.
"He couldn't get it up."
Because of this, we have created one of the most profitable pill ever made by man with the sole purpose of making penises ERECT.
This also makes it look like the ONLY WAY a penis can be useful/hot/virile/pleasurable is when it is HARD.
And conversely, the ONLY WAY a vagina can be useful/hot/virile/pleasurable is when it WET.
Now do you see where this is going? We are going to the land where the only (good) sex is sex where HARD penis enters WET vagina (or mouth or ass).
But I'll tell you, this is the greatest lie ever invented by man and woman. For that place where hard cocks and wet pussies/asses/mouths frolic is not a place, even with its 196 positions: it's still but a small ISLAND in the LANDSCAPE of sex.
What happens when you make sex all about a hard cock and a place to put it in order to ejaculate, you forget that sex is more than just a way to get your orgasm/pleasure/rocks off (and give someone else the same). You forget that sex can become a deep and healthy practice and dance of pleasure, touch, embodiment, spirituality, joy, discovery, feeling, exploration, with waves, chapters, adventures, roller coaster, diversity, variety, communication. And best of all, sex can be a space to be exactly as you are, which is much much MUCH more than hard or soft, hot or not. perfect or not. A place to take the time to feel into your and another person's body, heart, mind, and inner animal, and move TOGETHER to the places that feel right, powerful, curious, calling, speaking, loving. And of course the places needing love, support, caring, nurturing, and compassion.
So that we don't need to just be perfect anymore. Instead, we can be much more amazing than perfect.
We can be real.
YOU, can be real, true, hard or not. And she can be real, wet or not.
PS. One thing to remember is that the more emotionally, somatically and primally aware/connected/intelligent you are, the more what you perceive will affect your erection -- as it should, because you are not a machine: you are a human being affected by the things that move you (when you have the sensitivity to allow them to move you)
PPS. And guess what? Trying to have an orgasm with a SOFT penis -- without "jerking off" (pulling on your penis) -- might give you a sense of what it's like for a woman to have an orgasm. Try it sometime, and see how long it takes you.
by Philippe Lewis
What is Exquisite Love Coaching?
Exquisite Love Coaching is yours truly (Philippe Lewis) open sourcing his bits of clarity and wisdom with the whole wide world. My purpose is to support YOU and your COMMUNITY on the path of exploration of love, intimacy, relationships, sensuality, and sexuality. My deepest wish is that while on that path, you will meet others like you, love them and support them deeply, and create community with them so that everyone is included and no one is left behind.
When we come together, wisdom and support naturally arise, and this is how SHIFT and GROWTH happens! Welcome to the new paradigm of living and relating. Welcome to the path of Exquisite Love.
Who is Philippe Lewis?
Philippe Lewis is a Love Coach, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Trained Somatica Practitioner, and Epic Event Producer. For the last 18 years, he has been exploring love, relationships, intimacy, sensuality and sexuality with individuals and communities through teaching, writing, coaching and events with the goal of growing men and women into better lovers and better humans. He is a father, a lover, a partner, a husband, a teacher, a producer, a writer, a social artist, a coach, a counselor, and much more. He has a deep appreciation for people and life, and his deepest wish is to leave everyone a little bit better and a little bit more delighted wherever he goes <3