by Philippe Lewis

This is something I've been considering for a long time. And with my latest interest in attachment theory, it will change. And perhaps each piece will make it as a chapter into a book one day. I will call the book: "The Sensitive Soul: A path to transforming our greatest sensitiviies into our greatest gifts -- and live happily ever after!"

Here are the steps:

1. We don't know notin' and impacting others left and right. We get triggered and we go off on others and ourselves. This is us at our most ignorant.

2. An opening, a crack in the armor appears (significant events, transformational courses, life changes are good at this)

3. Realization of how we impact ourselves and others (ie. our karma), -- along with what we are more sensitive to -- grows. This sensitivity often comes from very early experience that cause us to see the world as a place to survive.

4. As the realization grows of how we are out of control when we get triggered, we start cleaning up present and past messes/relationships (including ourselves) (ie we dissipate our karma and become wiser)

5. Triggers still plague us (we are still too sensitive), but we start catching ourselves faster and faster, and cleaning things up faster and faster after our messes (impact on others and ourselves) -- from
weeks, to days, to hours, to minutes, to seconds before we clean things up (ie, we dissipate our karma as fast as we cause it).

6. As we catch ourselves, we start to ask for others to care for us in those moments and to avoid causing the triggers (instead of getting so triggered we can't fully see straight). We also start noticing the same in others and caring for them as well.

7. As we catch ourselves and others care for us (and we care for them), the triggers diminish in intensity and importance.

8. Eventually (this can take years), instead of being triggered, we're simply very aware of the things that used to trigger us.

9. This awareness becomes our new "supersense": we are sensitive enough to be able to detect a situation where no others can consciously detect and yet can still have a subtle yet powerful impact
on others. This is becomes a great gift for us to share. We also start noticing that gift in others.

10. We hone and develop our "supersense" so it becomes our greatest gift (and often related to our purpose or "a victory over the past")

11. We live lighter and lighter, feeling ourselves ever more in the present and in service and graceful as we move through life by our simple being. Triggers still happen, but they are usually related to our bodies (tired/hungry/hormones) rather than karma. Either way, we can easily clean things up.

12. We live happily ever after :)

Philippe Lewis is a Love Coach, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Trained Somatica Practitioner, and Epic Event Producer. For the last 18 years, he has been exploring love, relationships, intimacy, sensuality and sexuality with individuals and communities through teaching, writing, coaching and (sexy) events with the goal of growing men and women into better lovers and better humans. He is a father, a lover, a partner, a husband, a teacher, a producer, a writer, a social artist, a coach, a counselor, and much more. His love for life is as diverse as his love and sex life itself!