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I teach classes to support men and women to make better choices for themselves and each other through developing skills, practices, sensitivities, and qualities that will make them better lovers and better humans. I also produce events of all sizes for people to practice what they learned in classes, or simply to give a space for communities to explore and play.
Most of the events I create have some intimate qualities to them: permission and/or ways to explore connection, love, touch, consent. Teaching and creating events is something I have been doing for 13+ years, with very diverse settings and crowds. If you, your group or your community wish to explore or play, I can create the perfect event to do so (PS also ask me about my exclusive high-end group travel package where I design the epic intimate adventure of your dream for you and your closest group of friends)
Classes and events can happen at my home in Oakland (Northern California, USA) or anywhere (such as events and festivals) all around the world. Some of the festivals I've taught at include the Hawaii Tantra Festival, Envision Festival, Lightning In a Bottle, Enchanted Forest Festival, Awaken Festival, Lucidity Festival, EvolveLiveLA, Serenity Gathering, Sunset Campout, Bare Fest, Heart & Soulstice Gathering, Maniphest Festival, and many more.
Please contact me if you would like me to teach one of the classes below and/or create an event or class to fit your needs in your town or at one of your events or festivals.
EXQUISITE LOVE CLASSES
Conscious Collaborative Consent (Part 1)
Have you ever wished you could learn to “feel” consent, beyond the words you speak and hear? Have you ever felt that something is missing when someone comes along and simply says “May I kiss/touch/hug/etc you?” In some case, this may be someone you’ve known forever and are already comfortable with and happy to receive from without the requests. In some cases, this may be someone you barely know and would *love* to get to know better before the possible eventual step of touch or any form of sensuality. In some cases, this may be someone who, for some reasons, you never thought you might want to experience touch with, but eventually changed your mind --again for some reasons which may still be unknown to you.
What are these reasons? Why is it that sometimes affirmative verbal consent --as we are learning to do it in the age of #metoo-- still feels like something is missing, even when done correctly?
Consent is not about permission. Rather, it is about the ability of all present to connect and care for each other --with our heart, body, and animal-- in order to create the trust necessary engage with everyone's sovereign YES. This class will allow you to learn to navigate the ever fluctuating levels of comfort arising moment to moment as you engage with your and other people’s feelings, pace, desires and boundaries. You'll learn how to make this happen again and again gracefully, with maximum pleasure and fun and without fear and doubt. Consent, when done right, is the simplest thing in the world: it is about connection, trust, empathy and creativity.
★ The pace to align body, heart, and animal for the strongest most sovereign YES
★ How to instantly create more connection
★ How to easily create more trust
★ How to quickly detect when body, heart or animal are out of alignment
★ How to feel feelings, pace, desires, and boundaries
★ How to create a strong field of consent with a goal of having everyone engage happily and within their ability to engage well!
★ How to notice what gets in the way of a consensual engagement
This class is for both singles and couples. Couples will be allowed to free float (partner with others) or deep dive (stay together) as they wish.
The Art of Playfully Pushing Edges (Part 2)
So you know how to do consent well. You're familiar with people's yes'es, no's, and maybe's and you know how to navigate them well and safely for yourself and others. What's next? This "advanced" consent class will take you to the edge of "yes" and back, while giving you all the tools necessary to be a sovereign "maybe" as you explore uncharted territories of pleasure, sensuality, and play. Why would anyone want to play so far on the edge? While some people prefer to play in their safe "yes" zone (and in some cases, their even smaller "enthusiastic yes" area), others LOVE the mystery that comes with riding the edge of their feelings, the edge of their pace, the edge of their desires, and the edge of their boundaries.
A New Way of Looking
at Relationships & Intimacy (Part 1)
Ever been in relationship and noticed how you or your partner seemed to be following a sort of unspoken emotional “script” or “dance” leading the two down a path where triggers, difficulties, arguments, challenges, insecurities, and limitations seemed to get the best of you?
If you’ve been on this planet for long enough, you have noticed that these patterns are more or less repeated for you and your partners. Perhaps you are the warm loving one and your partner is the distant one. Perhaps you are the one who needs their freedom and your partner is the needy clingy one. Perhaps you are both so much the same (or your partner is just “okay*) that there is no tension between you and the result is, well, boredom. Perhaps the differences are so wide that while you’re having the most beautiful romantic love story of your life and the hottest sex, you also know that this simply will not work on the long term, because deep down inside you know that what creates the sexual and emotional tension is also what makes this relationship incredibly *unsustainable*. And perhaps you’ve seen yourself enter these relationships again and again and again, always knowing that something is up but never quite knowing WHY.
Enter Attachment Theory, the remarkable view of relationships that pretty much seems to explain EVERYTHING.
If you have not yet, take a minute to read this hilarious article:
Could you relate to either the man or the woman? Chances are you did. Or you read the article and thought: “These people are crazy! I don’t relate to either one bit.”. You’ll likely stand on either side. If you related more to the man, you likely have an avoidant attachment style. If you related more to the women, you likely have an anxious attachment style. If you didn’t relate to either, you likely have a secure attachment style.
And regardless of who you related to, this class is for you, because whether you are secure or insecure, you will be in relationship with people who are both, and knowing about attachment theory and recognizing and knowing how to work with people with various attachment styles is one of the single most useful skill you can have in life. That is, unless you are alone and never need to relate to another soul again.
In this class, you will learn...
★ More deeply about the various attachment styles (including the lesser known but important one called “fearful anxious” aka “anxious avoidant” aka disorganized)
★ The various cultural archetypes associated with the various attachment styles, so you’ll begin to see them in all the mainstream stories and movies.
★ How sociopaths, narcissists and people with borderline fit within the various attachment styles.
★ To recognize the “smoking guns” of the various attachment styles
★ To engage well with people with various attachment styles, and have realistic expectations of them
★ The difference between “who you want” and “what you need” in relationships (tip: it’s what you’re lacking the most) and why these two often don’t align, and what it takes to make them align.
★ To experience and compare the somatic and emotional experience of engaging with each attachment style
★ To begin down the path of creating a more secure attachment style for yourself and others, and setting your life for success.
Here's a shorter version of the class description.
Beginning the Journey to
a Secure Attachment Style (Part 2)
It was perhaps just a few weeks or months since you discovered attachment theory. You learned about the two main types of insecure strategies --avoidance and anxiety-- and the patterns of behavior that express these insecurities through a relationship to needs that seem to come from a deep and young part of yourself.
This class is about beginning the journey to a more mature relationship to needs. A journey to self-care and to interdependence. A journey to a secure attachment style.
Secure people, when you notice them, have the uncanny ability to create a life that seemingly *just*works*. But underneath this peaceful life lies a great ability to engage with their needs and the needs of others in a healthy dance where no-one --not even themselves-- is ever forgotten. What is this ability? What is this dance? This is what the class will begin to show you.
In this class, you will learn...
★ To locate yourself more clearly on the map of attachment styles.
★ To recognize your insecure patterns more readily, and to share them without shame with the people you engage with.
★ How to begin to plan your journey to a secure attachment style.
★ Somatic, emotional, physical, social, spiritual, and primal practices to develop in order to grow your emotional balance.
★ To answer the question "What do a secure person do?" with clarity when in a difficult situation.
★ To identify who are the secure people in your life and who are your anchors
★ How to find a good coach/counselor/therapist with a focus on attachment theory
★ Practices for the individual and for couples to anchor/stabilize each other, and the downsides/reduction of control/freedom of being in intimate relationships
The Art and Practice of Nurturance
This powerful class can also be offered in a co-ed format
Too often men are told in our culture that independence is key and needs are a weakness. But the truth is that needs are normal. Far from being signs of weakness, they are precisely how human beings bond and are meant to. For many men, the first step is to recognize that needs exist to be met without shame to those who have them. And this applies to their own needs which they have sublimated because of patriarchy and sexism. This work requires that they develop the skill of nurturance -- being attuned, available, responsive, and engaged -- in the absence of which disconnection that allows and supports oppression, objectification, rape culture is able to exist. In this class the men will learn the baby steps to recognize their needs and other people's needs and begin to grow their emotional capacity, intelligence, and maturity through gentle practices such as holding, feeling, attuning, responding, connection, support, compassion, and love.
Learning the Language of Touch
From sensation to meaning to expression...
Remember the last time you touched someone who needed healing, and your hands seemingly "knew" where to go and what to do? Or perhaps it was that hug you gave to someone you were attracted to, and instead of completely releasing, your hands remained connected while you talked and stared into each other's eyes. And in those moments you felt -- perhaps fleetingly - that your voice wasn't the only part of you in conversation with this other being. That your heart and soul were communicating as well, through contact...This is what we call the language of touch.
The language of touch is quite different than body language -- or perhaps it is a subset of it. What most people mean by body language is postures and other visual signs that the body gives to other beings. The language of touch, on the other hand, happens only in the realm of touch and contact with others. It is the subtle conversation that the body has with the world around it. What "words" does your body understand and communicate? Are you *aware* of what is being communicated when your body is in contact with its surroundings, and especially living beings? What would it mean to be more conscious and skilled in speaking this language? This is what "The Language of Touch" is about.
This class will focus on touch as a language that can be learned and understood. In a society that focuses so much on verbal language, people are often confused by or even sometimes completely unaware of the subtle conversation that their bodies are constantly having with the environment around them -- and more specifically, with the people they connect with on the rare occasions that touch occurs.
This class will first focus on our awareness of touch, and then move to exploring the subtle messages carried through touch between people, and eventually move to creating specific intentions and messages with touch. Finally we will have conversations on topics such as relationships, intimacy, sensuality and sexuality, as touch is deeply involved in each of those areas, either as a communication tool or a source of fulfillment.
This is a class for anyone open to exploring touch as way to communicate with other. Please come prepared to experience giving and receiving safe loving touch. This is not a sensuality or sexuality class, though those topics will definitely be discussed. If you are a couple, you will be allowed to do all the exercises together if you wish and feel safer that way!
The Art of Sensation Play
Secrets to pleasuring another person's body with your own
In this fun, hot and playful class, you will begin to expand your repertoire of touch skills and role play. First you will learn simple yet powerful embodied ways to interact somatically with others such as caresses, nails, bites/nibbles, light hair pulling, grabbing, kissing, light spanking, pushing/pulling, wrestling/pinning, flirting/teasing, and more. Next, you will learn and practice simple fun roles to use these skills with, such as the inner animal, the god/goddess, the nymph, and the fairy. All skills and roles will be taught in a container of consent to make all engagements pleasurable and powerfully transformative for everyone.
"It was so great to take your class on sensual touch.... I learned a lot and I'm sad to have missed you're other class! I can't wait to talk with you more. I really appreciated your dynamism, realness and sense of humor!"
"While at a conference in Hawaii, I was fortunate to attend a workshop facilitated by Philippe. This workshop focused on very light BDSM techniques pretty much for beginners although I cannot say that everyone in attendance was a beginner. I certainly was very new to this aspect of play and I found it fascinating. Philippe demonstrated many techniques (biting, nails, pulling hair, spanking and more) -- all things that can either be extremely sensual or very scary to the recipient depending upon how they are delivered and the conversation that takes place ahead of time. Philippe was masterful at describing the conversation for agreement and then demonstrated each technique with a different volunteer from class. I thoroughly enjoyed the workshop and found it to be stimulating, sensual and informative. Plus, I was the hair pulling model and I found it to be much more yummy than I anticipated. Check Philippe Lewis out! He's fun and hot! Blessings, Laurie Handlers www.ButterflyWorkshops.com"
A Relationship Survival Guide to Burning Man
The playa is a cauldron: Don't let it burn you!
So you’re going to Burning Man. With your partner/lover/boy/girl/friend. Didn’t people tell you it’s like taking your relationship through a Hero’s Journey? A crucible? Relationship suicide? Haven’t your heard countless tales of relationship demise at the hand of the man burning? But wait, what about the good stuff? The wild adventures? The Orgy Dome? The nights tripping the light fantastic? The dancing until sunrise, dusty, spent, and happy? Burning Man can truly be a wild ride, but you don’t have to go with your eyes closed. We can help. We have been to Burning Man more times than we can remember, and our relationship has not only survived (whew!), it has also thrived in this desert environment full of distractions, serendipity, desires, and boundaries. How did we do it? This is what this class is about: a selection of our best tips, planning, and techniques to bulletproof your relationship and give it the strength to go the extra mile. Because when you’re on the playa, you’ll need it in more ways than one.
for beginners & advanced players
Perhaps you started on your journey with a few lovers but you feel like you might still be missing some key skills? In this day and age of ever-multiplying relationship models, this class will teach you a variety of tools and perspectives to support you on your exploration and discovery of the perfect most graceful and ethical way to have the multiple love relationships that you want. And, we will also explore the many ways having multiple relationships can be an expression of insecurity and inability to commit so you can get clear on the work that must be done inside yourself and/or in your relationship(s) in order to have greater relationship health moving forward.
In this class taught by Blake Zealer and Philippe Lewis, you will learn:
★ The myriad of relationship structures out there
★ How monogamy came to be the dominant paradigm
★ About zero-sum thinking, and how our conditioning affects our vision
★ How to work with jealousy and cultivate compersion
★ The difference between boundaries, rules, and agreements
★ The possibilities and pitfalls of sharing sex with others
★ Safer sex practices
★ Ways to think about the long-term: kids, habitation, and getting your needs met
★ The balance of freedom and security
Many people are exploring consensual non-monogamy as an alternative to traditional monogamous relationships. Those that have usually encounter a lot of internal and external triggers that make the whole concept seem too difficult or not worth it. If you dive into the world of non-monogamy, you will likely find that many of its tenets resonate with you, or make logical sense, but the gut experience of walking the path brings up all kinds of old wounds and habits. This is both normal and common, and can bring about much healing if you are open to deeply learning about yourself and your partners.
There are as many different types of poly/non-monogamy as there are people who practice it. None of them are necessarily better than others, because it’s really all about what works for you! That being said, there are lots of people who have attempted non-monogamy, and failed. Please come join us for an evening of exploration and inquiry into the fabric of love and relationships!
The Art of Clearing Relationships Karma
Grieving is a journey. Take the right path.
Learn to clear deep issues between you and other human beings! This class will teach you a very powerful and successful process to move from experience, to story, to feelings, to apology, to forgiveness, to letting go, so that karma can be cleared between you, anyone you are in conflict with, anyone you do not feel fully self-expressed with, or anyone you feel complete with, so that you can care for each other better (if you wish!) and with more love moving forward.
In this class you will...
★ Explore the story behind your relationship, conflict, and/or experience
★ Dive into what happened and feelings that were present for you in this story
★ Discover the needs that were left unmet behind each feeling
★ Experience your feelings and needs being received and acknowledged
★ Experience receiving an apology and (if you wish) forgiving the other person for not meeting your needs
★ Get the opportunity to say goodbye and feel complete
This class does not require the attendance of the person you wish to clear with. It is designed to allow you to do the work you need to feel complete with this person regardless of their ability to meet you or be present with you. In a way, it is simple and gentle grieving process to support you in your healing and growth.
The Dance of Attraction, Intimacy & Desire
Learn to feel the magnetic currents between humans...
Have you ever noticed gazes shifting as you enter a room, bodies turning as you move through a crowd, bodies brushing against you as you dance? Or perhaps a smile, and wink, and touch as you engage with someone you barely know? We humans have a variety of ways we engage with one another that hint at the level of attraction we feel for another person, both consciously or unconsciously.
This class brings together everything I've learned in the last 21 years.
★ What is the “energetic” dance you share when you meet someone?
★ What role does attraction play in your dance? What types of attractions show up?
★ How slowly or quickly do you dive into the dance? Why?
★ What arises and awakens in you from the reflection of this "other"?
★ What is possible when you open and surrender to their contribution while simultaneously giving with generosity and compassion?
★ What happens in the space of "Yes, and..."?
In this exploration, you will learn to embody and expand intimacy and desire as a shared conversation that is much greater and all encompassing than the traditional views of the sensual/sexual. Without excluding these, you will learn that the dance of Lila is about allowing/creating a spirit and shared group mind that will guide, heal and drive you to a more ecstatic, beautiful and sustainable co-created living.
If you normally see desire/intimacy/sensuality/sexuality as a topic separate from the rest of your life, this will be a perfect opportunity to see how you can dissolve this view for a minute and experience the many facets of Source through the sharing of life energy with others.
If you normally see intimacy/desire/sensual/sexual as all deeply connected in your life, it will feel like diving in warm waters.
The Healing of Mother & Father Wounds
We all have wounds we carry from our childhood, wounds we experienced with both our mother and father. In this experiential class each participants will have the opportunity to heal some of these wounds by giving voice to their inner child and the needs they have around their parents. In a way, this will be a chance for each inner child to receive the small but vital bit of reparenting and healing that has perhaps been missing until now.
The 9 Keys to Epic Relationships
With over 23 years of long term relationship experience, these are the 9 areas that have been shown to be the most useful to discover, explore, and master. Some of the topics we will cover are: values, apologies & forgiveness, expressing love, curiosity, discovering the richness and complexity of the other, pace, kindness & caring, generosity & compassion, commitment, and humor.
There are 3 stages of wo/man based on the views of David Deida:
The first stage is one of ego and co-dependence where men and women enter in relationships based on what they can get from the other, most often because of deeply seated insecurities.
The second stage is one of mutual understanding and sharing, of safety and mutuality. This is where men and women seek to expand their range of masculine and feminine expression in order to be create greater equality in their relating with one another.
The third stage is one of diving into a sort of unique archetype of one's divine mix of masculine and feminine, and from there of giving our greatest gift to the world. David Deida states that “In this type of relationship you learn to practice loving even when you feel hurt, rejected or resistant. First you practice love, and then your native sexual essence blooms, naturally, inevitably, because you are learning to give from your core, which includes the root of your sexuality.”
This class is about raising the conversation of any and all relationships to the level of the divine masculine and feminine, the third stage of David Deida, and perhaps beyond, to a fabled "fourth stage", where the interplay of masculine and feminine shifts in pure grace and polarity with those around us.
Learning the 5 Keys to Graceful Connections
This is a class on exploring engagements with others through the discovery of their 4 interpersonal traits (feelings, pace, desires, boundaries) and powerfully using consent to create more freedom in those engagements.
The 6 Steps to Powerfully Completing Relationships
This class on clearing relationships in 6 simple and powerful steps, from anger, to apology, to forgiveness, to gratitude, to the things you loved and the things you'll miss in the relationship, to finally saying goodbye. While this class does not require the presence of the person you with to complete with, but as with all interpersonal processes, we recommend that the person in question be either physically with you or at least powerfully present in your heart.
Register for a Connection Lab and RSVP in the Facebook Event! Classes are $20.
Join the Facebook Group for class announcements! Also see the Calendar on this site!
Do you ever feel out of touch with your body, your emotions or your instincts? Have you ever witnessed or felt something profound, only to be lost for a way to describe it? Are you seeking more robust ways to communicate your desires, and explore them? Would you like to practice engaging your feelings, body, and animal self with others? Do you want to make better decisions in life around your pace, your desires, your needs and your boundaries?
Then this group and lab were designed for you.
Connection Lab is not about psychic powers, but when you begin to master emotional, somatic, and primal intelligence, it will certainly feel like super powers! Connection Lab will be an on-going class inviting the participants to learn connection through these three intelligences. Each evening will either be a class (facilitated by Philippe Lewis or another guest teacher), a practice session (related to a class the previous week), or an exploration (with specific agreements/boundaries). The classes will be open to everyone and there will be also a Deeper Taste path offered to those who are looking to do this work as an on-going and perhaps even a life-long practice, which will include one-on-one coaching, day-long classes and weekend gatherings, a deeper exploration of the 7 intelligences (intellectual, emotional, somatic, primal, spiritual, physical, social). Guest teachers will also be invited to teach on Tuesday night classes along for the public as well as for those on the Deep Taste path.
Classes will generally be on Tuesday nights 7-10pm in the San Francisco Bay Area.
What is emotional, somatic, and primal intelligence?
⭒ Emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to connect and engage well with others and the world through feelings and emotions.
⭒ Somatic intelligence can be defined as the ability to connect and engage well with others and the world through our five senses.
⭒ Primal intelligence can be defined as the ability to connect and engage well with others and the world through our instinct and inner animal -- in other words, through the part/layer/aspect of us that lies below our the prefrontal cortex part of the brain.