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Relationships & Intimacy

CLASS: Conversations between Anxious and Avoidant

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CLASS: Conversations between Anxious and Avoidant

Join us for a candid conversation on the topic of Anxious & Avoidant relating, and tips to help you understand your partners and loved ones.

Paget and I have been together for almost two decades (as of 2023) and we’re happy to share the awareness, maturity, security and wisdom we’ve gained over the years in a warm conversational-style meeting.

Bring your own experience, tips, tricks, stories to the table, come share with everyone else how you failed, how you made it work, what you learned.

Each session will have a loose focus (the reality of anxious, then avoidant, then mixing the two together), but we will be happy to hold the container for any and all topics connected to attachment theory, especially if they focus on the dance of anxious and avoidant.

Read on below for logistics. The sessions are by donation (or free if this is best for you) if you find the information you get out of it useful.

Session 1 : The reality of the Anxious

Session 2: The reality of the Avoidant

Session 3: The reality of the relationship between the two

Keep in mind that this is more of a candid or "fireside" conversation with a bit of leading on our part. We hope some of it will be useful. 

If you find the conversation useful, feel free to send a donation of any amount via Venmo to @exquisiteheartlove

or PayPal to love@exquisite.love

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PODCAST: Unlocking Intimacy: The Power of Attunement In Relationships (Divine & Alive Podcast)

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PODCAST: Unlocking Intimacy: The Power of Attunement In Relationships (Divine & Alive Podcast)

Imagine being with someone who has the ability to fully take you in, to fully see you, to fully feel you, to fully *read* you such that they can move 💃 WITH YOU in every possible way: primally 🐍, somatically 🕺, emotionally ❤️, intellectually 🧠, spiritually 🕉.

What would it be like? What would it feel like?

For most, intimacy is the path to reaching the point of two beings dancers 👯 coming together to be seen and felt such that the experience is one of melding, of moving as one.

In a way, this is the relational equivalent of flow 🌊, of moving as one with another, of melding into each other's divinity.

(Click the title to read the rest)

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PODCAST: From Anxious + Avoidant Into Secure + Sovereign (Shamanic Tantra Podbast

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PODCAST: From Anxious + Avoidant Into Secure + Sovereign (Shamanic Tantra Podbast

Recently I had an incredible conversation with Holly Turiya about attachment theory and the journey to earning at secure attachment style.

As you can imagine, this journey can be long and full of challenges, and truly depends on the template of everyone’s nervous system as they grow up, and each person’s propensity to use coping mechanisms to best handle these situations.

How might the Journey to Secure look for someone with each of the main attachment styles?
Join Holly and I to find out!

Click the title to listen!

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PODCAST: 50 Shades Of YES | Conscious Consent + Dynamic Boundaries (Shamanic Tantra Podcast)

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PODCAST: 50 Shades Of YES | Conscious Consent + Dynamic Boundaries (Shamanic Tantra Podcast)

Recently I had an incredible conversation with Holly Turiya about the nature of diving into the mystery with another person via what we called a "Fifty Shades of YES" exploration.

This is, essentially, a sort of contact improv dance with other humans via different "bodies" that we express with one another:

the emotional body
the primal body
the somatic body
the intellectual body

and more!

How does this dance unfold? What are the nuggets of awareness that emerge? What is the new awareness, security, and wisdom that is gained from it?

Join me and Holly to find out!

Click the title to listen!

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PODCAST: The Journey to Secure - Creating Healthy Secure Relationships (Deeper Intimacy with Amanda Biccum)

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PODCAST: The Journey to Secure - Creating Healthy Secure Relationships (Deeper Intimacy with Amanda Biccum)

In this episode Amanda and Philippe dive deep into the landscape of attachment theory, self-regulation, self-care, sense making, and self-resourcing. They will also tackle the four stages of the journey to security which will help you reach a happy and fulfilling life. Philippe is a relationship educator and founder of Exquisite Dark Love, a platform for supporting men and women in making informed choices about relationships through the practice of connection, trust, consent, intimacy, and love.

(click the title to read more)

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VIDEO: Loving Our Tender Inner Parts with Philippe Lewis (The Self Love Show)

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VIDEO: Loving Our Tender Inner Parts with Philippe Lewis (The Self Love Show)

In this week’s Self Love Show, Philippe Lewis will teach us a simple process to reconnect with our most tender parts, allowing us to continue the process of reintegrating our past and deciphering the lessons and wisdom that has yet to be uncovered from it.

In working with clients over the years, Philippe has found that our most difficult and dysregulated moments can be linked to aspects of us that sometimes seem to "pull" away from us in an attempt to be felt and heard, and in an attempt to remind us of a past we have not fully integrated. These "parts" are often either: 

  1. The inner animal/primal, 

  2. The inner child (under 12), or 

  3. The inner teenager. 

This will no doubt be a a powerful hour as Philippe shares his knowledge on Attachment Theory, Self-Regulation, and Sovereignty. Not to be missed!

Philippe is a relationship educator. He created Exquisite Dark Love to support men and women in making better choices for themselves and each so they can become sovereign humans through the practice of connection, trust, consent, intimacy, love, and the exploration of attachment theory. He is the co-founder of ReMENber Brotherhood Journey, a coordinator with ISTA, the International School of Temple Arts, and a modern voice on critical thinking around morality and the integration of Masculine, Feminine, Dark, Light, and Shadow. Over the years, he founded the Open Relationship Community, the Attachment Community, and the Consent Community to support new emerging conversations on these important topics. He is also the happy father of a 9 year old boy who teaches him how to surrender to love and life more fully every day.

Facebook Wall: www.facebook.com/fuzzyp
Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/philippesimonlewis/

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VIDEO: Making Sense of Attachment Theory (Self-Love Show)

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VIDEO: Making Sense of Attachment Theory (Self-Love Show)

Ever been in relationship and noticed how you or your partner seemed to be following a sort of unspoken emotional “script” or “dance” leading you two down a path where triggers, difficulties, arguments, challenges, insecurities, and limitations seemed to get the best of you?

If you’ve been on this planet for long enough, you may have noticed that these patterns are more or less repeated for you and your partner. You’ve seen yourself enter these relationships again and again and again, always knowing that something is up but never quite knowing WHY.

Enters Attachment Theory, the remarkable view of relationships that seems to pretty much explain EVERYTHING about how people can be secure or insecure in relationship and how regardless of your attachment style you will likely be in relationship with people who are either.

(click the title to watch)

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VIDEO: Social Media, AI & Attachment Theory (Yet Another F*ing Podcast)

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VIDEO: Social Media, AI & Attachment Theory (Yet Another F*ing Podcast)

Yet Another F*ing Podcast (EP 1)

Damien and I love having edgy, explorative conversations where we don't quite know where we are gonna end up. This is the field that we feel most inspired to play in.

In this episode we go on a fascinating tour through our relationship to social media, the AI algorithm that underlies it all, how it plays on our attachment theory, erotic energies... and more.

I LOVED this conversation. I felt so nourished by it.

Stay in beyond the first 10 minutes as we take off into the mystery!

You can contact Damien on his website.


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VIDEO: How Childhood Affects Life & Love (Alexandra Holovitz)

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VIDEO: How Childhood Affects Life & Love (Alexandra Holovitz)

Attachment Theory - How Childhood Affects Life & Love with Alexandra Holovitz

In this video, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Alexandra on Attachment Theory - how childhood affects your life and love style, what are the main attachment styles and how to cope best in a relationship and move towards being more securely attached.

Topics discussed:

  • What is attachment theory is all about?

  • The 4 attachment style: Avoidant, Anxious, Disorganized, Secure

  • How the different attachment styles are behaving with one other?

  • How we can move more into conscious secure attachment?

  • How you can address your emotional needs in a relationship?

  • How can we define Secure Love?

  • Want to learn more about your own body?

(click the title to watch the video)

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PODCAST: Exploring Consent, Polyamory, and Slow Sex (Speak, Uncensored)

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PODCAST: Exploring Consent, Polyamory, and Slow Sex (Speak, Uncensored)

Speak, Uncensored EP2

Philippe is a relationship educator. He works with men and women to support them in making better choices for themselves and each so they can become fully sovereign human beings through the practice of connection, trust, intimacy, love, and consent. 

Philippe offers insight into navigating the complex world of polyamory and the challenging emotions that can accompany it. Learn how to ‘dance the dance of consent’ through non-verbal communication, better understand attachment theory and its role in jealousy, and play with the edges of your boundaries. 

Listen to the show here.

To work with Philippe or learn more about his courses, visit his website or connect with him on Facebook

If you enjoyed this, please leave a review or support us on Patreon :) 

Support the show

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CLASS: Attachment Theory: What To Do About Disinterest In Relationships

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CLASS: Attachment Theory: What To Do About Disinterest In Relationships

With my exquisite friends Bryan & Jennifer, we explore the topic of avoidance in relationships through the lens of Attachment Theory.

For the partner of an avoidant attacher, we'll cover:

★ How to bring the avoidant attacher out of their funk
★ How to detect the edge of an avoidant’s intimacy comfort zone, and avoid pushing them out of it (hint: it’s not with your mind)
★ How to create a deep fulfilling intimate relationship that is also safer for avoidant attachers

For the avoidant partner, we'll explore

★ How to safely communicate to your partner that you’re in a funk and need space (without making them worry)
★ How to share with your partner how they can safely connect with you
★ How to take your space so you can fully show up in the relationship
★ How your need for space is can be a need for time to be with yourself (and how to use this time effectively)
★ Discovering your emotional pace so you can share about it without shame and your partner can be with you on the journey.

For both partners, we'll look at:

★ The (sometimes slow and courageous) journey to a secure attachment style
★ The emotional and somatic dance of attachment styles
★ The true gift of each attachment style

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PODCAST: Healing the Patriarchy (Evolved Masculine with Destin Gerek)

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PODCAST: Healing the Patriarchy (Evolved Masculine with Destin Gerek)

Destin Gerek Evolved Masculine EP21

Philippe and Destin discuss the path to becoming a leader. They dive deeply into discussions of Patriarchy and how it affects men as well as women. They discuss the "Unfuckwithable State" and the journey that they, as well as many men who are rewiring their programming surrounding masculinity, have gone through. Philippe speaks about connecting to the inner child and the inner animal, and how it can help with the practice of embodiment.

Philippe Lewis is a Love Coach, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Trained Somatica Practitioner, and Epic Event Producer. For the last 18 years, he has been exploring love, relationships, intimacy, sensuality and sexuality with individuals and communities through teaching, writing, coaching and events with the goal of growing men and women into better lovers and better humans. He is a father, a lover, a partner, a husband, a teacher, a producer, a writer, a social artist, a coach, a counselor, and much more. He has a deep appreciation for people and life, and his deepest wish is to leave everyone a little bit better and a little bit more delighted wherever he goes <3

Listen to the show here.

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PODCAST: The Burning Man Relationship Survival Guide (EntheoNation)

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PODCAST: The Burning Man Relationship Survival Guide (EntheoNation)

Here's the link: http://ow.ly/8ZkA303KJOp

Philippe Lewis, the Exquisite Lover, is a Sex & Intimacy Coach, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Trained Somatica Practitioner, and Epic Event Producer. For the last 18 years, he has been exploring relationships, intimacy, sensuality and sexuality with individuals and communities through teaching, writing, coaching and (sexy) events with the goal of growing men and women into better lovers and better humans. A Burner since 1998, Philippe shares veteran advice on being fully prepared for epic play on the Playa, and getting the most transformation out of transformational festivals for yourself as well as for your intimate relationships.

In this juicy episode, he will share practical advice on how to use the Playa as a transformational relationship playground. Get ready to discover:

  • [7:25] Why so many couples break up and friendship end at Burning Man.

  • [9:01] How to avoid common Playa pitfalls and ensure your relationship survives Burning Man

  • [13:54] What "CPR" is, and how to use it to change the world, change your life, and enhance your relationship.

  • [16:39] Creative ways you can use intention to add more magic to your Burn

  • [17:08] How to negotiate Playa boundaries with your lover...that include sexual encounters with other people.

Here's the link: http://ow.ly/8ZkA303KJOp

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PODCAST: Love, Sex, What Men Want, What Women Want (EntheoNation)

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PODCAST: Love, Sex, What Men Want, What Women Want (EntheoNation)

EntheoNation

My dear friend Lorna Li interviews me about my favorite topic: the art of becoming an exquisite lover.

This interview is a bit of my journey, a bit of my life, a bit of everything. 

And darn, I must've been excited that day -- and likely a bit nervous -- because I'm speaking FAST! So much to say ;)

Also you'll hear...

- How I found my passion as an intimacy coach
- How I provide support to men and women in relationships
- My primary tools for love coaching
- My vision of sex in our modern-day society
- Stories of clients with powerful transformations after coaching
- What the ‘six indulgences’ of erotic intelligence mean for both sexes
- What it is like working with couples
- The important things in creating positive relationships
- How to use relationships as a crucible for spiritual growth
- The differences of what women and men want in love relationships
- The characteristics of a soulmate relationship

I hope you enjoy it!

Click here to hear the podcast.

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